The first session for me of my Mom's group was today, and what a joy it was. There is nothing like getting together with other Moms and being real and transparent. There are 70 women total that have signed up, but we are split in groups of 7 or so. We are doing the Mom to Mom curriculum found at http://momtomom.org Anyway, today, the video discussed who we are supposed to be as Moms and addressed the myths women believe about being a mother. Here are the two that I found I struggle with:
"Super Mom": Since you are "not working," you can at least "do it all" on the home front.
"Performance Pit": What you do determines who you are.
I often think I should be able to do it all, cook, clean, homeschool and take care of the baby without help. Afterall, Rich goes to work, right? Then, not only do I have to do it all, but I have to do it well, and my kids have to perform well. I realize I put so much pressure on myself. Now I've been aware of both of these myths in my life for quite some time, but there's nothing like a refresher to really hit the nail on the head. Since coming home with Naomi, I've been struggling with the Performance Pit and the Super Mom syndrome. I have been putting alot of pressure on myself and expecting alot out of Rich and not giving either one of us any grace. I know I'm struggling with this, but seemed to be in a pit, in need of perspective. It really hit home and I loved when the speaker Linda Anderson said,
"Parenting is rooted in God's grace, not our perfection."
Really truly I knew that, but I needed to hear it. I guess I really needed to hear it, cause later, in a devotional I did ( God's Purpose for Every Woman by Lysa TerKeurst and Rachel Olsen)I read:
"The Bible advises against performance-based love, and advocates grace-based love instead. Proverbs 19:11 explains we should be slow to anger and quick to forgive. The Message puts it this way: "Smart people know how to hold their tongue; their grandeur is to forgive and forget." We're also advised to stop mulling over our grievances. First Corinthians 13 explains that a loving person is not irritable or demanding...
Dear Lord, I need help moving from an attitude of performance-based love to a grace-based perspective."
So what myths are you struggling with? Please share, we can strive to be better moms together!