I have the best husband. I am so blessed to call Rich husband, best friend...mine...I was having a really hard day yesterday. You know, a Job day, where everything that could possibly assail you does? Anyway...Rich called to check up on me a couple of times, and when he came home for lunch, he brought me 1 dozen red roses as well as a potted primrose. It was so sweet. Just a little something to brighten my dark day. The night before, he came to bed early with me and we watched Good Eats on the Food Network. It was so corny, but we just snuggled and chuckled at the corny humor. Its the simple things...I love my husband. I am so glad that God brought us together.
I'm striving to take pleasure in the little things. For so long I've thought, I'll be happy when... I'll be satisfied when...I'll be content when...the thing is....when never comes. With God's help I'm trying to enjoy where I'm at.
So, I may not be able to make fancy dinners like I used to...or scrapbook to my heart's content. I may not be able to stay up until 2 am reading a book, and sleep in the next morning...say, I can't even stay up til 12 talking with Rich and not pay for it in the morning....
The thing is, I love where I'm at. I love being woken up by the pitter patter of my almost 5 year olds footsteps. I enjoy teasing my 15 year old about her crushes, and then being there for her, when things don't turn out as she had hoped. I'm cherishing each moment with Rich, 8 years in...laughing at some of our rough spots and dreaming of some future moments.
Things aren't always rosy...far from it...see the sharing of love...but with God, each day is good and full of his mercies and surprises...
Life in the hear and now...I wouldn't change it for the world.
Okay, so I love to share, but cold/flu and other germs, not so much...I thought I was doing really well. Trisha got a cold, then Simeon, then Rich, and I was still fine...UNTIL...Simeon coughed on me and I could feel the germs swarm at me...then Rich coughs...and all of a sudden, I know it...though I've managed to avoid being sick this winter...my time has come. Eyes are burning, nose is running, sinus' aching...anyone want me to share? Promise, it would be my pleasure!
So often I set myself up. I am so rigid, and while I work on loosening up and relaxing, I struggle with the reality of it. Valentine's Day. I had this great day planned. Trish has been asking for my iced cinnamon rolls for weeks. I made some earlier in the week, and froze them. I thought I'd surprise her on Valentine's Day with cinnamon buns for breakfast...she walked past the table and never even realized they were there. I thought I'd make heart shaped pizzas for dessert....because of the chaos going on and plans being changed...that fell through as well. I get so disppointed when these things happen, yet are they truly important? A few days out, the important thing is that I got to spend time with my family. Relationships over things/agendas/plans...when do you think I'll learn my lesson? I did however get to make the kids and Rich giant Valentines. The doors were covered with butcher paper and decorated. Their favorite candy bars were stuck to the valentines...snack size of course...the day wasn't a bust...just not the same as the perfect world in my head!
Last Wednesday was just CRAZY! Our church was partaking in an all day fast, and while I wanted to do it, I didn't have a great attitude that day. Rich came home and told me that Trish had a half day of school, and all I could think was, "I'm hungry and I have to deal with a 15 year old and a 4.5 year old? God, you've GOT to be kidding." Needless to say, I wasn't a happy camper.
Finally, Rich came home, and I finally decided that I should "redeem" this fast by spending time with God, afterall, isn't that what fasting is all about, the extra time with God? So I go to my room, open my Bible, and journal, start to pray and read expectantly...Nada, nothing, the passage in Galatians was drier than dry. So, okay, there's not always some big revelation or illumination, I can accept that. I reach over for my devotional, and start reading. Grrrr...Not cool, not funny, and my temper tantrum with God begins. "What do you mean I need to get up earlier for quiet time with God? Haven't I tried that? Why is it that every time I wake up early to do my devotions, my 4 year old wakes up 1.5 hours EARLY?" I was so FRUSTRATED! I told God was mad, rolled over and went to sleep. Real mature, I know...
Fast forward to church service that night. It was a special prayer and worship service. I don't know when exactly this happened, but I realized that God didn't care if it was quiet or not when I spent time with Him. His desire is to spend time with me. Ah, I consider sitting on the couch withRich and the chaos of drums sounding, people talking, tv going all at once spending time with him. That's all that God wants...time with me. The conditions don't need to be ideal. God knows my life, He blessed me with my 4 year old musician, my newscast loving husband and phone talking, finger typing 15 year old. He knows how loud and chaotic it gets in my house, and HE doesn't care, He just wants to spend time with me.
I am continually amazed by God. Despite my bad attitude and temper tantrum, He met me right where I was at. God is SO good! He LOVES me! I don't have to be perfect, or have perfect times. I know He doesn't expect it, but the perfectionist in me does...I really am learning to let go. It's freeing...to learn to be who God made me to be, accepting my weaknesses with my strengths is freeing!
So when was the last time you sat amidst the chaos and spent time with Him? He's waiting, He loves you as much as He loves me!