Thursday, February 7, 2008

Amidst the Chaos

  1. Last Wednesday was just CRAZY! Our church was partaking in an all day fast, and while I wanted to do it, I didn't have a great attitude that day. Rich came home and told me that Trish had a half day of school, and all I could think was, "I'm hungry and I have to deal with a 15 year old and a 4.5 year old? God, you've GOT to be kidding." Needless to say, I wasn't a happy camper.

    Finally, Rich came home, and I finally decided that I should "redeem" this fast by spending time with God, afterall, isn't that what fasting is all about, the extra time with God? So I go to my room, open my Bible, and journal, start to pray and read expectantly...Nada, nothing, the passage in Galatians was drier than dry. So, okay, there's not always some big revelation or illumination, I can accept that. I reach over for my devotional, and start reading. Grrrr...Not cool, not funny, and my temper tantrum with God begins. "What do you mean I need to get up earlier for quiet time with God? Haven't I tried that? Why is it that every time I wake up early to do my devotions, my 4 year old wakes up 1.5 hours EARLY?" I was so FRUSTRATED! I told God was mad, rolled over and went to sleep. Real mature, I know...

    Fast forward to church service that night. It was a special prayer and worship service. I don't know when exactly this happened, but I realized that God didn't care if it was quiet or not when I spent time with Him. His desire is to spend time with me. Ah, I consider sitting on the couch withRich and the chaos of drums sounding, people talking, tv going all at once spending time with him. That's all that God wants...time with me. The conditions don't need to be ideal. God knows my life, He blessed me with my 4 year old musician, my newscast loving husband and phone talking, finger typing 15 year old. He knows how loud and chaotic it gets in my house, and HE doesn't care, He just wants to spend time with me.

    I am continually amazed by God. Despite my bad attitude and temper tantrum, He met me right where I was at. God is SO good! He LOVES me! I don't have to be perfect, or have perfect times. I know He doesn't expect it, but the perfectionist in me does...I really am learning to let go. It's learn to be who God made me to be, accepting my weaknesses with my strengths is freeing!

    So when was the last time you sat amidst the chaos and spent time with Him? He's waiting, He loves you as much as He loves me!

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