Growing up, I was always overweight. I wasn't too active. I was intimidated in sports teams from the rec. department. There weren't many kids my age in my neighborhood and I went to a regional school, so no one was close by. In elementary school I played some sports, but not consistently. By the time I got to highschool, sports did not interest me at all. I was horrid in gym class and was always one of the last kids to be picked. Needless to say, being active was not fun. I remember in particular one night when my father had me go for a bike ride with him. He was worried that I was getting fat, and wanted to prove that I was out of shape. Well, I did really well on that bike ride, and proved that I could do it. I did enjoy swimming and took lessons for a while, but when money got tight, that was one of the first things to go.
Why am I mentionning all this. Well, yesterday as I was stacking wood and today as I was running, I was thinking that I want something different for my family. My parents paid lip service to being fit. My father had a physically difficult job, my mom excercised somewhat, but it was always behind closed doors or at the gym. We never really did anything as a family. We NEVER played catch, kicked the soccer ball around, bike rides. We rarely if ever did any of that. I want our kids to have an active life because they like it, because they enjoyed it with us. I want them to be healthy and active because they see the joy it brings us.
Honnestly, since being married to Rich, I have learned so much, I enjoy kicking the ball with Simeon, walking on the beach, playing catch, or batting the ball, I've since discovered running. I want to have fun with my kids doing these things. So, Simeon has become my running partner. I'm hoping that this fall, he will have built up enough endurance that we can run a 5k as a family. wouldn't that be amazing?
Well, the winter has been long and hard and I'm up 20 pounds. ICK! I've been itching to run, but haven't gone. I found all kinds of excuses...its too dark in the morning, we have commitments in the afternoon, Simeon is getting to be too big for the stroller and complains the whole time he's in it. On Friday, Sim and I went for a walk and I talked to him about running. Well, jogging...he seemed interested, so we tried it this morning. We are taking it slow and working our way up to one half hour. I'm using a 10 week schedule that builds up running time. I probably could hop right back into running, BUT Sim is asthmatic, and I want him to build some lung endurance.
Today we walk/jogged. It was SO FUN! He wanted to run a little bit extra at times, and did really well. I think we'll stick to the schedule. He didn't get too wheezy on me, and if we keep it up, he'll be running longer periods of time. Yeah for my son as a running partner.
I have struggled individually and Rich and I have struggled as a couple with making friends. We have lots of acquaintances, but deeper friendships just don't come as easily. It wasn't from the lack of trying...we invited people over, attempted to get to know people...it just didn't seem to work. I think that struggling through Infertility as well a few other issues, caused me in particular to isolate myself.
I have been convicted for the past few months to break out of my cocoon. I have made a point of being more transparent myself, and in trying to invest myself in others. I have extended invitations, without expecting to be invited in return. Most importantly, I have gone to God in prayer, asking him to bless us with friends. Real friends. I am now seeing God andswer, and I am so excited, I/we actually have friends. Friends with whom we can make spontaneous plans. Friends with whom we can have conversations and share our joys as well as our struggles.
So many things going on...I've been wanting to run away, but a speaker that was visiting church on Sunday said that God calls us to break away from the situations we're in...not run away...so I guess I'm ready to breakaway...easier said than done!
Things have been stressful here to say the least. Options that were pretty set for our next adoption are now in the air...praying for God to lead and show us clearly what His will is.
The truck is dying on us. We're praising God its lasted this long, and are praying that He would again provide. I know He will...but being in the waiting room stinks...
I had a GREAT visit with my sister this weekend. It was nice to see her and spend time with her without any disagreements or altrications...she's gone home and I'm feeling a bit homesick.
I found out my father is using drugs...its so much worse than I thought, and I'm sad...only God can break through...but I know Dad has given up on himself. He said as much to me years ago, and I'm so sad that he's where he is now...looking forward to going to God once Sim is in bed and just getting it all out...
You know...I just want to be happy and joyful and at peace...and yet I feel like God's desire is to stretch and teach and grow...and while I know its for my own good, I sometimes wish that God would use anaesthesia....you know, so I don't feel it while its happening...
Which reminds me, I have to set an appointment to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. Surgeon said he'd make sure I feel REAL good and not remember the procedure! Yeah for that!
Praying that I start to see sunshine and rainbows once again, or that I remember no matter how cloudy the sky seems to me, the sun is shining nice and bright behind it...same goes for my life!
Philippians 4:13 (The Message)" Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."....and...2 Corinthians 4:8-10 ( The Message) " We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized;we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken."