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Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Homeschool Room






I thought I would share pics of our homeschool room. I think its my favorite room in the house. Forgive the messiness, we are in here quite a bit, its hard to keep this room pristine!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Authentically Me!

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately: thinking about why I do the things I do, why I react certain ways in certain situations, why I think certain thoughts about myself, why I feel emotions at different times.

I'm realizing more and more that my self worth, my self image, who I think I am, is based on such fleeting things. I allow superficial comments, instances and perceptions to shape and mold who I am, rather than looking at God's word, and finding the truth. God created me! God doesn't make junk! Does that make me perfect, absolutely not, but maybe I should be fixing my eyes on the truth, rather than what goes on around me.

Recently,I started to study Priscilla Shirer's Resolution for Women. In the chapter called "Intelligent Design" she says,

" I've often based my self-worth on some second-rate, inconsequential detail or assumption- like the way I looked, or the clique I fit into, or the way I measured up to a culturally set standard- to determine the type of woman I should be, to dictate the kinds of things I spent most of my time thinking about and and majoring on."

My friend, Denise, in her new blog,, writes:

" So, I'm going to attempt to live a bolder life and do and try things that I might just fail miserably at. But I will have tried. I will have pushed myself out of myself and maybe just learned that I'm ok even if I'm not perfect. Because, really, if I ever attained this warped idea of perfection (which is mostly about physical temporary things I can't ever find lasting contentment in), then who would be able to relate to me anyway? When I see a gorgeous, talented woman, I'm more likely to run the other way rather than befriend her. There are probably a lot of lonely gorgeous, talented women who could really use a friend! Maybe if I can get over all of this insecurity nonsense, then I'll actually be able to BE a friend, one who befriends out of love and not self-obsessed fear."

That is so ME! Both these ladies have described what I have been thinking lately. I can't tell you how often I experience fear and anxiety about what people are going to think of me. I mean, I know I'm a people pleaser, but this is crazy. Often, its not even about pleasing people, but about what people are going to think of me. Oh my word!

For as long as I can remember, I have had people make comments about my physical body. I struggle people. I struggle with my weight. Some of it is emotional eating. Some of it is lack of exercise, and some of it is some hormonal imbalance. It hurts and stinks. But I think I have let people's comments on my body affect how I am inside too. Just to give you an idea of things that have been said that have shaped me:

In elementary school, I wrote a speech about wanting to be a gymnast or be in a circus, not sure which, a friend had told her mom, and then reported back to me that her mom said I was not skinny enough to do that profession.

In elementary school, I was dancing around in the cloak room, and two girls, friends, told me that my bum jiggled when I danced.

In grade 4, my pediatrician, told my mother I was overweight, and needed to exercise more, I got my first exercise video.

In middle school, we went on vacation with family, we went to buy a bathing suit, and I tried on a two piece, my aunt and uncle chuckled at my belly protruding....needless to say I bought a one piece.

In high school, I was asked how it felt to be, " fat like you are."

In college, a guy friend told me he preferred to date skinny girls.

As a grown and married woman, I had an Uncle use me as an example as to why a woman shouldn't be a firefighter. " Would she be able to carry her, down the stairs."

CUTTING WORDS! I let these words decide what I should and shouldn't do. I decided that I wasn't very good at sports. I decided that I didn't like to dance. To this day, I will only dance in the privacy of my own home.

I get nervous about about meeting people and what they will think? I get nervous about seeing people I haven't seen in a long time. Why? Because I had lost a bunch of weight, met these people, and now have gained some/half the weight back. What will they think?

I've avoided pictures like the plague, not even wanting to look at myself, for fear of disappointment and anxiety over how I look.

There are times when I consider NOT going to see people or getting together with people because of my self consciousness.

BUT I'm realizing that I am so much more than my weight and my insecurities. I always knew that, but now I'm beginning to act on that. I don't want to limit myself anymore. I want to live this life God has given me and enjoy it. I want pictures to document my time with my kids. I want to laugh and dance around! I want to enjoy my family and the people I'm with, regardless of what they think of me. Perhaps even finding the confidence to call them out on any future insensitive comments.

I want my life to be based and built on more than what other people think or say of me. I am so much more than that. I want to believe that who I am and what I look like, is more important than what magazines and tv and other people have to say about who I am and what I look like.

I'm choosing to believe that God made me good. That God has made me special and for a specific purpose. I'm choosing to believe Jeremiah 1:5

1. God formed me
2. God consecrated me
3. God appointed me

" Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, And before you were born I consecrated you; I have appointed you a prophet to the nations. "

Lest you think I've only ever received negative comments, I haven't. I'd like to thank my aquatics activities instructor in college, who encouraged me and spoke truth to me, when I doubted myself. I have a husband who has known me at my skinniest and at my heaviest and has always told me I was beautiful and special.

I'm resolving to be ME! In all my talents, gifts, faults and vices. I'm resolving to try my best, to step outside of the box I've built around myself, letting God give me glimpses of who He has made me to be, as I stop looking at the inconsequential, and superficial values I've been trying to attain.

I'm resolving to be AUTHENTICALLY ME!

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Scrape the Plate Good!

So, I've been reading Priscilla Shirer's book The Resolution for Women. In it, she describes how over a delicious chocolate cake, and some awesome girl talk, she realized that she was not living her life to God's fullest. She was discontent, and rushing through, not savoring each moment like she was the chocolate cake she was partaking. I so can identify with her.

Today, during the live simulcast, she was joined by 2 other women and all mentionned LOVING chocolate. Her cousin was touted as being the queen of chocolate ( or something to that effect) and so I said that I would use my blog to post my favorite chocolate recipe, and hopefully, some of the women will join me in sharing their favorite chocolate treats!

It's hard to live lives of contentment. Let's remind ourselves to savor our lives, both the good and the not so good, as we do some of our favorite treats! Without Further Ado:

DOUBLE DARK CHOCOLATE CAKE
1 1/2 cups of all purpose flour
1 cup brown sugar, packed
1/4 cup of cocoa
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
6 Tablespoons oil
1 Tablespoon vinegar
1 teaspoon vanilla

1. Mix all ingredients until well combined. Pour into an 8x8 greased pan. Bake at 350 for 30-35 minutes.

* For frosting chocolate cakes, you could go with a chocolate frosting, but my favorite is cream cheese frosting and my family's favorite is peanut butter frosting.

Oh, and just because I'm in the mood and I had typed this up for my sister today, here is another chocolate recipe!

CHOCOLATE MOUSSE
2 T salted butter
6oz semisweet chocolate chips (1 c)
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs separated
2 T sugar
1/2 c heavy cream

1. Make a double boiler by setting a metal bowl on top of a medium saucepan filled with a couple inches of water. Add the butter to the bowl and then set the heat to low. When the butter has melted, add the chocolate chips. When the chips are melted, add the vanilla. Remove the bowl from the heat and whisk in the egg yolks.

2. In separate bowl, beat the egg whites until they form softpeaks. Stir egg whites into the chocolate mixture.

3. In another medium bowl, combine sugar with the cream, and then whip the cream until stiff. Fold the whipped cream into the chocolate.

* Mousse will be quite soft at this point, but will definitely set up to a chilled pudding consistency after its been in the fridge for a while.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Hopefully back in business!

Well, after the last repairs, my computer would only stay on for 20 minutes, so hopefully, this last repair will be a success.

The past two weeks without the computer have been good. I can still check my e-mail, facebook, etc. with my itouch, but I do love a full screen.

Anyway, school is going well and we are halfway through our third week. I am loving My Father's World curriculum. I love the book basket recommendations, the activities and the flexibility we have.

I'm at a loss of what to post right now, but stay tuned. I have a few ideas floating in my head. I'm looking forward to hopefully posting more regularly.

Friday, August 19, 2011

What we've been up to.

It has been crazy around here. Naomi has hit the terrible 3's, and has kept me on my toes. We have had water poured on the laptop, i-pod flushed down the toilet and the cordless phone throne into the pool, as well as deliberately pulling down her pants and peeing on her bed. I don't know what has gotten into her, other than finally processing and maybe voicing some displeasure at our recent move, coupled with some developmental changes and a new sense of independence and individuality. Whatever it is, we are hoping that this phase is a short one, and we can get back to enjoying our spunky little princess without the fear of destruction and extra laundry. On the flip side, Naomi has me laughing with some of her expressions. Pretty please with a cherry on top being one of them, but my favorite is her cupping my face in her hands and telling me that I am the best mom in the whole wide world. Melt my heart! I'm also enjoying her participation in school. While I haven't received her curriculum, I've improvised, and she is enjoying her A is for apple week, as well as practising her French.

Simeon started school earlier this week. I finally received all of his curriculum and he begged to start the next day. What a nice change from the complaining and begging at times to go to public school. Our first few days have been nice, intensive,but enjoyable. I am still "learning" the curriculum I've chosen, but am happy with the flow, content and skills being taught. Simeon has been so thoughtful lately, it has really made being around him an extra pleasure. I'm so thankful for these glimpses of what a kind, generous and helpful man he is becoming. How can I not melt when receiving a picture that states his love for me?

Trisha has been busy with work and being an extra in a movie. She seems to be enjoying it. Wednesday is the day she is moving into her dorm on campus. She is really looking forward to that. Tomorrow, we are having a last hurrah party for her and her friends. Speaking of which, I need to get baking!

Finally, Rich and I have been busy around the house. Last weekend, my mil took the kids overnight, and it was nice to spend some quality time together. We watched a movie on Saturday night (My Date With Drew- an off beat documentary about a guy who gave himself 30 days and a small budget to get a date with Drew Barrymore), had a nice breakfast on Saturday morning, followed by a very productive blueberry picking session. 13 cups in an hour. I just love the wild blueberries. It was nice to then run some errands without worrying about a child not wanting to follow, nor having to buckle and unbuckle out of car seats. We were very glad to see them afterwards though. It was a little weird to not have either of the little ones with us.

As for me, well, home school is something I am passionate about, but the first few weeks always drain me, as I look to find balance and some kind of routine that works for all of us.

God has been speaking to me frequently, in the small ordinary moments, which just makes him feel that much closer and involved in my life. This morning, I was asking God about some things I've been thinking about. Some things I've been reevaluating and questioning, wondering if I was following His will for my life or not. I just was so thankful for his answers. I love when I ask God a question, and then, whether it be in the bible or in a devotional he answers. In this case, the answer came as a confirmation from Oswald Chamber's My Utmost for His Highest the date being Aug. 19th. It was nice to read that introspection and self consciousness is not a sin, but rather a tool that can lead us closer to Jesus as we turn to Him, for His wisdom and discernment. I am so thankful for a God who wants to be involved in the intimate details and situations in my life!

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

What I'm learning...

It's funny, how God has been teaching me through the land. I have been researching how to prune and take care of the blackberry bushes and apple tree we have on our land. Here are some of my thoughts.

Pruning helps to cause a tree or bush to be more fruitful, more effective at what it does. When pruning, we take away branches or canes that suck life out of the plant,and cause it to bear little or mediocre fruit. Pruning causes the plant to channel its energy more effectively into the parts that will bear fruit. God does the same thing. He may remove things in our lives,things that are in and of themselves not bad, but that may hinder our ability to bear fruit for the kingdom. Things that left untouched, may cause disease or attract pestilence. Pruning in our lives is always for our own good.

As I was in the process of cleaning out/pruning our blackberry patch yesterday, I was attacked by the thorns on the bush. Blackberries are VICIOUS! I was wondering if I could make a parallel between the brutality of the blackberry bushes and my spiritual life, and it wasn't long before it came to me. So many times, I lash back at God as He prunes. He's simply trying to make me better, but I get all angry and bristly with Him. It's like the blackberry bushes. As I pull on the dead canes, to make room for the new ones, as I attempt to trim and make them more productive, they scratch and tear and prick. It doesn't stop me from my task, but doesn't make it pleasant. I wonder if God ever wishes we would simply let him prune without lashing out in frustration or sadness? It certainly would make it more pleasant for Him and for us, if we let Him work without getting all bristly and thorny.

Finally, as I was sitting, attempting to do my devotions this morning, I listened to Naomi, almost three yelling at Simeon, " Me do, I do it, I can do it!" I was reminded off how often, when God is trying to teach me something I have that same toddler attitude. I want to do it by myself. I don't think I need anyone else's help, direction or guidance. I was once again challenged, to watch my attitude when someone approaches me, trying to teach me something.

I am just so thankful for a God who cares about me, and will meet me in the mundane everyday tasks, to teach me about Him and about myself!

Saturday, July 30, 2011

Bounty!

As we were driving around our new stomping grounds yesterday, Rich turned the van around and pulled over to the side of the road. I wondered what he was up to, until he came back to the car with a handful of blueberries. He boasted of bushes loaded with wild blueberries.

This morning, with the kids in tow, we went picking. In under an hour we picked 10 cups of blueberries and left plenty on the bushes. I'm thrilled to not have to go to the blueberry farm this year. Instead, we got our berries free.

We do have blueberries on our own land, but they are in a very wet and boggy area. After talking this morning, I think, we are going to try to move the bushes to a drier,sunnier area, and see if they will produce more berries for us. If not, we'll buy bushes and have our own blueberry patch.

I'm again, so thankful for how God provides. How He knows what thrills us, and indulges us with so many of His blessings. I mean, He doesn't always give us what we want, but other times, He goes above and beyond our wildest dreams.

I was reminded of times with my grandparents this morning too. Traipsing through the woods berry picking with them, at their cottage. I can do this in my backyard...CRAZY!

I think the best part of the trip, was when Simeon stated he could see himself berry picking with his kids in 20/30 years from now! Be still my heart! My son is enjoying and planning on continuing the legacy of berry picking. Oh, how I hope that I can partake in berry picking with my son and grandchildren!

Even as I write this, I realize, that I also hope that my son, and grandchildren will share in a spiritual legacy. My prayer is that the love for God, His word, His ways is also passed down through the generations. That they would expeience the love of God's bounty, not only physically, but also spiritually.

Thank you Jesus, for the blessings of berry picking!