Running Partner?

Well, the winter has been long and hard and I'm up 20 pounds. ICK! I've been itching to run, but haven't gone. I found all kinds of excuses...its too dark in the morning, we have commitments in the afternoon, Simeon is getting to be too big for the stroller and complains the whole time he's in it.
On Friday, Sim and I went for a walk and I talked to him about running. Well, jogging...he seemed interested, so we tried it this morning. We are taking it slow and working our way up to one half hour. I'm using a 10 week schedule that builds up running time. I probably could hop right back into running, BUT Sim is asthmatic, and I want him to build some lung endurance.

Today we walk/jogged. It was SO FUN! He wanted to run a little bit extra at times, and did really well. I think we'll stick to the schedule. He didn't get too wheezy on me, and if we keep it up, he'll be running longer periods of time. Yeah for my son as a running partner.

Friends...

I have struggled individually and Rich and I have struggled as a couple with making friends. We have lots of acquaintances, but deeper friendships just don't come as easily. It wasn't from the lack of trying...we invited people over, attempted to get to know people...it just didn't seem to work. I think that struggling through Infertility as well a few other issues, caused me in particular to isolate myself.

I have been convicted for the past few months to break out of my cocoon. I have made a point of being more transparent myself, and in trying to invest myself in others. I have extended invitations, without expecting to be invited in return. Most importantly, I have gone to God in prayer, asking him to bless us with friends. Real friends. I am now seeing God andswer, and I am so excited, I/we actually have friends. Friends with whom we can make spontaneous plans. Friends with whom we can have conversations and share our joys as well as our struggles.

Praise God for friends!

His mercies are new every morning.

Mom's group today was good. One thing the speaker said resonated with me. God does not give measures of grace in advance...rather he gives it as we need it. Thank you Jesus!

Ramblings...

So many things going on...I've been wanting to run away, but a speaker that was visiting church on Sunday said that God calls us to break away from the situations we're in...not run away...so I guess I'm ready to breakaway...easier said than done!

Things have been stressful here to say the least. Options that were pretty set for our next adoption are now in the air...praying for God to lead and show us clearly what His will is.

The truck is dying on us. We're praising God its lasted this long, and are praying that He would again provide. I know He will...but being in the waiting room stinks...

I had a GREAT visit with my sister this weekend. It was nice to see her and spend time with her without any disagreements or altrications...she's gone home and I'm feeling a bit homesick.

I found out my father is using drugs...its so much worse than I thought, and I'm sad...only God can break through...but I know Dad has given up on himself. He said as much to me years ago, and I'm so sad that he's where he is now...looking forward to going to God once Sim is in bed and just getting it all out...

You know...I just want to be happy and joyful and at peace...and yet I feel like God's desire is to stretch and teach and grow...and while I know its for my own good, I sometimes wish that God would use anaesthesia....you know, so I don't feel it while its happening...

Which reminds me, I have to set an appointment to have all 4 of my wisdom teeth pulled. Surgeon said he'd make sure I feel REAL good and not remember the procedure! Yeah for that!

Praying that I start to see sunshine and rainbows once again, or that I remember no matter how cloudy the sky seems to me, the sun is shining nice and bright behind it...same goes for my life!

Philippians 4:13 (The Message)" Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am."....and...2 Corinthians 4:8-10 ( The Message) " We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized;we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken."

Cake for a Friend

Here's a cake I made for one or Rich's co-workers, one of our mutual friends.I like how it turned out.

Recent Ponderings

A week or so ago, I was perusing the book selections at Sam's Club and came across a women of the Bible 52 week study. It looked interesting, and wasn't too expensive, and so I bought it. I started the study 2 days ago (beginning with the story of Eve), and have been thinking of this statement ever since.

From "Women of the Bible"

" She (Eve) never knew the meaning of embarrassment, misunderstanding, hurt, estrangement, envy, bitterness, grief, or guilt until she listened to her enemy and began to doubt God."

It just made me think and wonder. How often do I feel a negative emotion because I have my eyes/heart/dreams set on something that is not inline with God or His will for my life? How often do I feel these emotions because I am listening to the values of my culture and society? People around me? Friends or family? My own thoughts and values and desires? My sinful cravings? When I'm feeling misunderstood, hurt, bitter, resentful...am I doubting God? Doubting His ability to bring good from a situation? Am I doubting that He made me in His image?

Certainly, as humans, we do process negative emotions...Of course it is normal to feel sad, angry, embarrassed. But I am being challenged...to not bask in those emotions, to not wear them like a badge, to not wallow in the self pity and self righteousness of them, but rather to return my focus to Jesus.

As I've been thinking of these things, and questioning myself, I'm also reminded of the incident of Peter walking on water. The storm was raging, and Jesus came walking on the water. The disciples were frightened. When Jesus called out, Peter jumped out of the boat, and despite the stormy sea, he was walking on water...until he started looking at the giant waves, the rain and wind whipping at his face and body, and then he started to sink. Jesus words? "You of little faith," he said, " why did you doubt?"

Back on the Bandwagon?

So last year I was doing really well eating healthy and exercising. I was working with a personal trainer, and really toning up and losing weight. Life got busy, money got tight, and my resolve weakened.
Part of the problem is I'm a perfectionist. I struggle with finding balance, because, well I want to do everything perfectly. If I focus on cleaning the house, then exercise suffers, if I focus on exercise, then the house suffers, and cause I'm so fixated on my goals, my family suffers...
Yesterday I was praying about it. I realized that I need to do things in moderation. I know, its not this grand revelation, but its something that I need to constantly be reminded of. So, I might not be able to walk 7 miles a day, AND do strength training and stretching...But I can do 30 minutes of either, everyday, still be fit, and yet still get all my house and family obligations done.
So 30 minutes a day it is. So far, I've done it today. Way to go me! Let's see what tomorrow brings!